Parker is six weeks old today and I have no idea where the last week went. I feel like I have been in a self-absorbed time warp during the past few weeks. I know that the world has been moving along without me and I really don't care! I'm perfectly content to be a hermit at home and go to Target a couple of times each week (I could go more often but Benton would take my credit card away). I haven't been great about returning phone calls or emails, but I promise it's not because I'm buried in a post-partum hole. Actually, it's quite the opposite. It sounds dumb, but I feel like I have a bigger purpose now and so much stuff that filled my days before seems pointless now.
With all that said, the hardest part of post-partum has definetly been breastfeeding. I'll keep the details simple in case boys happen to read this, but I can tell you that infections in your breasts are more miserable than you can imagine! I had my first infection two weeks after Parker was born and had to take 10 days of antibiotics every six hours (you do the math, lots of pills). Plus I had chills, fever, body aches, and had to feed or pump every two hours. Not what you want to focus on when you bring your newborn home. Now, three weeks later, the infection is back again and I'm in constant pain. I started antibiotics again today and will go back to the doctor next week. Luckily, Parker is unaffected, but I may be reaching the end of my breastfeeding rope.
Breastfeeding is such a personal decison that everyone has an opinion on (see "Attack of the Lactoids" post). I've struggled a lot with whether it's selfish of me to stop breastfeeding so soon because it makes me feel so miserable. I've found myself wishing my doctor will give me a medical reason to stop so it's more socially acceptable when others ask why I quit. We'll see how my appointment goes next week and I plan to call the pediatrician to get her plan for switching to formula. Since I have a week's worth of milk frozen, I should be able to make it 8 weeks. I'm slightly anal and would like to make it to an even month mark.
Parents
Kristen & Benton Brown
An Unexpected Start
Parker Trimble Brown was born April 9, 2010.
I'm One Year Old
Parker will be 14 months old on June 9th.
You are a wonderful Mother and no one will ever question if you choose to stop. He's going to be great either way and his Mommy needs to take care of herself too. Either way, you'll be making the right decision for the both of you.
ReplyDeleteAll I have to say is Happy Mommy equals Happy Baby. No one else but you, your husband and baby matters and once you can say, this is MY decision and it's what makes us a happy family, that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteIt's a hard decision to make but you can't beat yourself up about it.